There were three friends. They loved each other so much. They
were always saying that they could not live without each other because they were friends since first grade at school. Mike, Wu,
and Ahmad were living in a very small village where there were not too many
people living in that village. These three friends liked to meet in the
same place every day and then they went out of the village to enjoy their days by
playing some games and meeting their friends from the other village.
One day, the friends decided to go further than they usually did because they wanted to discover new places. While they were standing on a small hill and looking to the wide land in front of them, they saw an amazing green spot. It was looking so different than everything around it.
In the next day, after they finished school they went to see
that place. They were thinking that they would spend like two hours seeing the place
and have fun and they could be back to their homes before sunset. After walking
for almost three hours, they found themselves in the middle of the way and they maybe still needed another three hours to get to their destination.
“Let’s go back; it is still too far away,” Wu said.
“Let’s go back; it is still too far away,” Wu said.
- “No, we are not going back because we’re been walking for three hours to see that place and we want to see what is
in there,” Mike said.
- “Yes, and you have to come
with us, Wu. We are not going without you,” Ahmad said.
- “ But our parents will
worry about us if we are not at home before eight o’clock,” Wu said
- “Do not worry, Wu. We will be
back at home early,” Ahmad said.
After walking for another three hours they
arrived to that wonderful place where there were very many green trees and large
mountains. They enjoyed the place and had fun, but they did not realize that
the time was too late and it was so dark to go back to their houses.
While they were walking to find a safe place to stay until the morning, they found a cave and when they entered it. It was so dark so Ahmad took out his phone and opened the flashlight app to see what was in there.The surprise was that they found a very big treasure and it had a lot of money, gold, and silver. They were shocked and surprised at the same time and they decided to divide it between them and everyone get his portion from the treasure.
While they were walking to find a safe place to stay until the morning, they found a cave and when they entered it. It was so dark so Ahmad took out his phone and opened the flashlight app to see what was in there.The surprise was that they found a very big treasure and it had a lot of money, gold, and silver. They were shocked and surprised at the same time and they decided to divide it between them and everyone get his portion from the treasure.
Ahmad was not happy with his portion of the
treasure so he told his friends that he was so hungry and could not wait until the morning to eat and he wanted to go out to find some food to eat. While he was searching for food, he saw poison mushrooms and a very bad idea came to his mind and he decided to make his friends eat these mushrooms. When they ate it, they would die and he could take the entire treasure to himself.
While he was out of the cave his friends decided to kill him when he came back so they could divide his portion between both of them.
When Ahmad arrived at the cave his friends
killed him and they took the food to eat because they were so hungry and they did not realize that the mushrooms were poison mushrooms so both
of them died immediately after they ate the food. So we can conclude that because
all the friends were so greedy and each one wanted the money for himself all of
them died at the same time and no one took the money.
 |
| the treasure in the cave |
Author’s note:
“Why spiders are always found in the corners
of the ceiling “is a story about a father. He is so selfish and greedy. He
worked hard with his family in their farm and after he saw that the crops were
quite ripe, he decided that he wanted to profit by them alone, so he sent his family to their house in the village
and he stayed in the farm alone. One day his son wanted to know the robber in
their farm and when he came out to catch the robber he found his father. That
was so shameful because he was so greedy and he wanted to take all the money to
himself. In my story I changed the characters from father and his son to three friends.They decided to go to the forest to discover the place and play for a few hours and then come back to their houses but in the forest they found a treasure and each of them wanted to take the money to himself but that led
them to their death. What I wanted to say from writing this story is that being a greedy person can lead to a very bad ending and maybe can lead to death.
I really enjoyed your story! It made me think back to my childhood and some of the adventures I went on when I was a kid. I can remember times I got in trouble for being home later than I was supposed to. I like how your story showed how sickening greed can be and how it can lead to negative outcomes. The kids finding the treasure was a good twist because as I was reading I was thinking how much trouble they were going to get in when they got home late. The story made me want to keep reading more the whole time!
ReplyDeleteThis was a great story! I liked how you blended in your new and original ideas with the ideas from the story that you decided to read. I also really liked the message that your story gave. I think it's important for stories to have a good moral in the end that makes you think about what you can do to improve yourself.
ReplyDeletePlease read my comments that came to mind while I was reading your story. You should be able to piece together which part of the story I was on when I made the comment!
ReplyDelete(Comments as I read along)
Awe, that’s so sweet. A group of friends spending quality time with each other everyday.
They should really be careful about choosing to go to unchartered land on their own. I hope this doesn’t turn out badly for them!
I wonder if they told their parents that they were going? Probably not.
Sure enough, they hadn’t told their parents. Sounds like Wu is the logical friend, adding together the facts that they’ve been walking for hours, it is getting late, and their destination seems to be farther and farther away.
Wow, that escaladed quickly. I was under the impression that these boys were either in middle or high school. I never would have guessed that they would have turned on one another like that! That’s crazy, great twist! I loved this story!
Wow, this story was so entertaining! The ending of your story completely surprised me (in a good way!) I loved how you opened the story and gave the background of the friend’s friendship. It reminded me of my some of my childhood friends that I miss! As the story progressed, I would have NEVER expected the ending! I cannot believe that the friends would kill each other just for some dumb treasure. I really like how you made the title of your story “Don’t Be Greedy.” This title lines up perfectly with your story and the conclusion. I would suggest spacing out your paragraphs so it is easier on the reader’s eyes. I was also wondering “What if a magical genie brought them all back to life in the end to teach them the lesson they should have learned?” This is just a funny idea for if you ever decide to revise it at all! Overall, I loved this story and thought it was very well written!
ReplyDeleteI really liked reading your story, and was excited to see where the greedy part came in. The beginning seemed so lighthearted, and the friends seemed very genuine. I liked that the end was so unexpected because at the beginning I thought the greed would have something to do with the special spot that they had all found and shared together. The treasure was a nice twist to the story that turned the three against each other. It showed that when the friends really got down to it, they just wanted more for themselves, and did not truly care about their friends. I really liked that all of them had attack plans for each other than ended up being the demise of all three. It would have made a great lesson at the end to show that when you are greedy nothing good comes of it. You will all fail before any one succeeds when greed is involved. Great story!
ReplyDeleteHey Christina,
ReplyDeleteI really, really enjoyed getting to read your story. It was very exciting! I was really excited to get to see where the root of the greed came into play. The ending of your story really threw me off; it was not what I was expecting while I was reading your story, so it was a great surprise. It was wonderful how you opened the story by giving us the background of the relationship between the friends. At the beginning, everything seemed so easy going and there was so much happiness between the friends. The treasure was very great and interesting twist/addition to the story. Your title “Don’t Be Greedy” fits the whole concept of the story very, very well. The story really sold the fact that when it really got down to it, they did not care about the friendship, but only the treasure.
Christina, this was a great story! The ending completely threw me off. I was not expecting them all to die, but I think it fits perfectly with the theme of your story! Isn't it sad how greedy some people are? Even lifetime friends, like the ones in your story, can become so greedy that they are willing to hurt other people just to get what they want. One thing I have noticed with greed is that usually there is money involved. Don't get me wrong. Money isn't always involved, but I would say the majority of the time it is. I haven't read the original story about the farmer either, but it sounds just as tragic. I love that you kept the original theme from that story, but made a completely new story showing that greed can be universal. Overall, I absolutely loved your story! The message "Don't Be Greedy" is a very important one and you did a great job on selling that! Great job! Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteHey Christina! I really enjoyed reading your story and I thought that you did a good job taking the concepts of the original story and turning them into what you did! I think that greed is a great theme for this story because in today’s world everyone wants more, more, more! The ending of your story shows how being greedy does not always mean you get what you want out of life. I am constantly reminding myself to stay humble and grateful for all of the opportunities I have been presented with in life. I think your story is a great reminder to me to stay focused on what is really important, friends and family! The kids’ finding the treasure was a great twist in the story and the use of poisonous mushrooms was great. I also really liked your photo of the treasure, a great reminder to the reader of what’s going on! Good luck with the rest of your semester!
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